The Weird Al Poem
by Jason Tomlinson
Go silver go gold go platinum get a Grammy
take your band on the road from LA to Miami
be on Fallon, Letterman, Kimmel and perform at the Super Bowl
cross every achievement off the list meet every goal
and there is still one more thing left to be done
one more mark of success before you ride off in the setting sun
and it’s not an audience with the pope the president or any kings
movie soundtracks or a duet while your idol sings
it’s not playing underwater or orbiting outer space
it’s not actually something you can do nope it’s not your place
the measure of success for artists in pop
and country and rock and even hip hop
is not even whether or not you’re true
but rather when Weird Al makes fun of you
and when this happens there will be hilarity
the satisfaction you’ve been covered by the king of parody
you’ll be among those kicked back relaxin
like Madonna Billy Joel and even Michael Jackson
MC Hammer Nirvana Milli Vanilli and Eminem
Taylor Swift Pharrell Robin Thicke and all of them
the highest form of flattery is his imitation
having his voice sing your song on a hit radio station
is the way to fame and glory of a kind that will ever stick
you’ll know you have arrived when you’re covered by Weird Al Yankovic
Bring Back the Poetry 