Enter my Gladness
by Jason Tomlinson

Five addresses for five years by the time I was five
going into kindergarten I didn’t know that I would dive
into a depth deeper than many if not most
an exceptionality I treasured a difference that I would boast
naively to be sure for I leaned too far one way
and a balanced horizon didn’t appear day after day after day
the truth is I didn’t know anything different than what was set before me
and the full truth wouldn’t be realized for years blinded by all I could see
I was the new kid in third grade and fourth and fifth and sixth as well
and I never even slowed down to think no one ever asked me to tell
what it felt like but I feel now what I was missing all along
what I was feeling wasn’t necessarily right nor was it necessarily wrong
but I was feeling and that in itself is its own end
and I needed a parent a pastor a teacher indeed I needed a friend
who could be an ear a guide a sage
to help me navigate transitions at such an early age
but their were none and at this point I don’t find it useful to accuse or to blame
my parents or anyone else but instead I’m compelled to name
what I felt back then even though the years have come and gone
because if I don’t acknowledge the sadness and hurt then it will go ever on
unchecked and unrestricted to become cancerous inside
swallowing me whole instead a massive whelming tide
little Jason still needs to be heard I am eleven within
I listen to my little heart and there is value in being my own friend
I need no further validation than hearing my own sadness
no other man has walked where I have walked no other can enter my gladness